Sensational

Please consider this trigger warning before proceeding: This story contains lite references to sexual coercion between two adults. This content is intended for adult (18+) audiences only.

Photo by Sharon Pittaway on Unsplash

Have you ever been surprised by your own reaction to something—by a desire that arrives unannounced, yet undeniable? A want that feels foreign in theory but conceivable in the body? That was where I found myself the moment he asked if he could come in my ass. My craving to be as close as possible to my lover cracked something open in me, revealing a realm of possibility I felt a near-physical pull to enter. My mind reeled backward to a memory I knew, intellectually, was more than thirteen years ago. Emotionally, it hovered closer, vibrating just beneath my skin.

I remembered a naïve, college-aged young woman—too eager to please, too buzzed to consent. She didn’t yet have language beyond a single word: “no.” She believed it should be enough. She had been told it was enough, if spoken correctly. If in enough saccharine sweetness then discomfort or even danger could be avoided. A sugar-glazed refusal, designed to keep everyone calm. Meanwhile, a college…